I have never lied to my family about debt as such, more that I haven’t mentioned it. I prefer to keep it to myself and deal with it. The only person that is aware of it all is my partner, although his debt problems are much more serious.

My partner ran up lots of debts whilst at university, being lured in with cheap credit deals. When I first met him he was still a student whereas I was in full time work, therefore I helped him out. To be honest this i where my debt problems started as I was helping him out with more money than I could really afford.

As far as I was concerned his problems were solved but recently he announced to me that they were as bad as the ever were, mainly due to overdrafts and opening statements. He has no idea how much he is spending.

This has caused a great deal of tension between us because as far as I can see he hasn’t learnt from his past money problems. Maybe I am to fault for bailing him out but I just wanted to help. Now I am worried about what will happen in the future.

My husband and I have a lot of debt - about 80k, and thankfully it’s manageable because we’ve got a good income and should have it paid off in about 3-4yrs. But I didn’t work for a while after having my son and it was really tough.

To begin with, we didn’t really admit to each other that there was a problem, and buried our heads in the sand. Eventually things came to a head when we realised we were struggling to make the repayments, and we had a massive argument about who was spending the most! From then on, we have talked about all purchases and financial decisions, and spend a lot of time discussing ways to make more money, reduce interest and pay things off as quickly as possible.

We actually quite enjoy the challenge of paying our debt off now, and some of the things that we do to save money, such as having picnics instead of eating out, going swimming instead of shopping etc actually bring us closer as a family.

I’d recommend to anyone in debt that they talk about it with their partner, as it really does make a huge difference to have two heads dealing with the problem rather than just one.

The primary responsibility for the financial education of children lies with their parents. They have chosen to bring them into the world, and should give them an upbringing that will provide a greater chance of coping with the realities of adult life. This includes teaching them how to handle money responsibly.

The best way is to lead by example. If children grow up seeing their parents spending wisely, and have to wait for special occasions for major treats, they are likely to maintain those habits once they are working and managing their own money. They should also learn the habit of working through doing a paper round or jobs for the neighbours, and get a Saturday or holiday job once they are old enough. These earnings should be divided; some may be spent straight away, some saved for something they really want, and the remainder left to grow in a savings account.

If, by contrast, children are given money and the latest gadgets whenever they want, and their parents buy things they can’t afford, then they are likely to adopt the same attitude. This may jeopardise their financial future, if they come to believe that debt is acceptable, and credit is the easy answer to getting what they want.

debt. small word - BIG problem.
Ive never been in debt myself, but my parents - well thats a different matter. When my mum and dad divorced several years ago, each had a variety of debt - credit cards, personal loans, car loans which they each took their seperate ways. both later remarried, but for some reason my mum never told her new husband about the debt she was bringing to the marriage. time went on, and she was finding it harder and harder to manage the repayments until it got to the point where she was getting phone calls from debt collection agencies almost daily.
the worry was killing her - literally - her blood pressure went up, she was physically sick. not about the phone calls, she could handle those - but at the thought her husband MIGHT FIND OUT ABOUT IT.
My mum then transferred her address for the debts to my house - all to stop her husband finding out. needless to say i was furious and things havent been as rosy between mum and daughter since.
I’d love to say she has found the courage to tell him, but the situation continues on with the secrets and lies. I only hope one day she does do the right thing as at least together they could face the problem and sort it out.

I have never lied to my husband about debt, mainly because he is just as bad as me when it comes to spending money. I do however sometimes lie to my mum about it. I really shouldn’t as she has helped me out of debt in the past and I know she only wants to help. I think its because I am ashamed of my situation and I feel I have let her down that I feel the need to lie. Its easier than telling her the truth.
With regards to the stress side of it, definitely. Money worries and debt are the number 1 cause of stress and arguments in mine and my husband’s life. It is all we ever argue about. He likes to brush the problems under the carpet while I sit and think about them for ages then we just argue. Debt worries is even one of the causes of me suffering from depression.

It really makes no sense as being rich and having lots of money is not something that is important to either of us. The fact that both we and our daughter are healthy is the main issue, so why on earth can money really rule our emotions the way it does.

Woke up to the fact that your money is working against you and not for you? Put the kettle on and take a deep breath.

In order to get out of debt, you need to ensure you know exactly who you owe (have any debts been passed on to collection agencies?) and how much you owe them. You also need to find out the rate of interest you are being charged by them on this debt. This will be a figure on your credit card statement or loan agreement, if it’s shown as a monthly percentage simply multiply by 12 to get your annual percentage rate (APR). Credit cards can charge anything from 0% (for a time!) to a whopping 34.9% interest on your debts.

When you know who you owe, and how much, prioritise them. Mortgage / Rent and Council Tax / taxes are the most important. You need to ensure you have a roof over your head, and falling behind on tax payments can land you in court or prison. Prioritise the rest by their percentage rates - you need to work on clearing those with the highest percentages first, whilst meeting minimum payments on all the rest (to ensure your credit file isn’t damaged).

Also, take a look at what exactly you are spending your money on. Keep a spending diary for a month and write down everything - cups of coffee, lunches, magazines, everything. Even when you pop to the shop to grab a missing ingredient, add up the totals. If you find yourself wasting money at lunchtimes, make pack lunches. Spend money on newspapers? Read them online for free instead. Analyse everything.

Take a look at all the Direct Debits and Standing Orders you have coming out of your bank account. Do you still need them all? Should you have cancelled any? Can you cut back on any, such as Sky or gym membership for the time being?

Once you’ve started looking at how you handle your money, and worked out where you can start cutting back and saving, you’ll be well on the way to clearing your debt. It may be a long struggle and take a long time, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable process. If you find yourself missing takeaways, take the time to learn how to make similar dishes yourself. Missing magazines? Subscribe instead and save yourself money. Continue shopping around for everything and let your money work for you.

IVA, bankruptcy and debt management, there are so many words flying around. The most crucial step is to acknowledge that you have a problem. Debts can seem overwhelming, and it is all too easy to pretend that it is not happening. The temptation is to feel that you may as well continue spending; since you already owe so much, you can never pay it off, and it won’t make any difference if you owe more money.  However, you MUST begin to take responsibility for the situation, and stop spending on all non-essential items.

The next vital step is to seek professional help. There are many organisations that are dedicated to helping people deal with debt advice; not only will you feel less alone, but such organisations have considerable experience in these matters. It is important to choose a charity rather than a business, whose only interest is in making a profit. These charities can help you deal with your creditors, and work out a repayment plan.

Another important issue to consider, once you have sought help in dealing with your debts, is to avoid a repetition of the situation that led you into debt in the first place. Financial education is sadly lacking in this country, but there are many books available (look in your local library!), and websites, which can help you plan a budget, and understand what led you to spend so much money. There is help out there, and nobody need feel that the situation is hopeless.

If you have started to miss payments on loans and credit cards, the chances are you are in debt over your head and it is crucial that you seek help as soon as possible. It’s very tempting, in that position, to ignore the problem and hope that it will go away. It won’t. It will deteriorate to a point where you are afraid to open your mail and answer your phone and then you will be scared of what you have missed by failing to do these things. Don’t get trapped in denial, you can improve the situation radically and gain peace of mind by taking a few simple steps.

Contact all your creditors, explain that you do want to honour your commitment but that you have got into difficulties which make it impossible for you to do so at present. If you are able to, offer to make reduced payments in the short term, while you seek specialist help.

Although it is possible to get a consolidation loan to cover all your debts and get one smaller monthly repayment, the best idea would be to visit your local Citizens’ Advice Bureau and see what they suggest. They offer a free, non-judgmental service and best of all, creditors do listen to them and respect their judgment.

It may be a cliche but a problem shared really is a problem halved and you will never regret seeking help with your debt - the sooner you go, the sooner the burden will be eased.

Debt management and debt advice can be the answer and a problem shared is a problem halved. If you are facing problems with repayments on your debt and need debt help, then the advice is pure and simply get advice as soon as possible before bankruptcy is the only outcome.

It takes a proud man to admit that they need help and that is what all the free debt advice helplines are there for.

They can offer you advice, support and maybe most importantly reassurance that you have already made the first step towards sorting out your finances. The individuals at the other end of the phones on the debt advice lines and very well trained individuals who can offer invaluable advice on your options and offer you solutions on how to best organise your finances so that you do not miss payments again in the future.

They will help your financial situation, but also offer you peace of mind and allow you to sleep at night, by stopping any needless worrying. The key is obtain help and advice early on, so what are you waiting for, if you have a problem, however little or large, seek free debt advice. It may just change your life.

The idea of taking out a consolidation loan to ‘consolidate’ your debts is tempting.

Let’s say you have three separate loans which, when totalled, mean that you owe around £10,000. One of these loans still has six months to go, one has 18 months and the other one, the last one you took out in a moment of madness, still has three years to go.

When you took out the last quick loan you were in full-time employment and thought you were in a job where nothing short of an earthquake could put you out of work. Then, your boss got sick and closed the firm - and wham! Earthquake time!

What if you are unable to find another full-time job? Lots of unemployed people out there, aren’t there? Bit of a shock to discover hundreds of people all after the same job. Time to have a serious look at finding a debt solution.

Hmm. Well, here you are, having to meet the same monthly payments. Okay, your loans may well have payment protection on them, but that’ll only last for a few months and, anyway, you can’t afford just to sit back and wait for a job to come to you as soon as the PPI is finished, can you?

No, you have to go find a job or even jobs so that you have money coming in - after all, you still have to eat and keep warm, at the very least!

The idea of the consolidation loan is tempting. But remember this: you are unlikely to be granted a loan for more than the amount you owe. This is because when you apply for a loan, the loan arranger is going to look at your income - and in today’s shaky economic climate, most of us are considered a risk.

So, if by chance you are considered a risk worth taking, remember that the consolidation loan you take out is unlikely to be enough to cover the amounts outstanding and give you a bit to play with. What will happen is that you get your consolidation loan but you will have roughly the same amount going out every month as you did before, except now it’s being paid on the same day to the same loan arranger.

In the long run, loans only benefit the loan arranger. More than likely, you will find yourself facing an even longer term of repayment. Frankly, in the long term it would be better to pull in your belt a notch further and grit your teeth and continue paying the separate repayments as you were before. If you owe over £15,000, you are in serious debt and would probably qualify for an IVA.

Who wants to be in debt for a further five years or so when, in real terms your last loan will have been paid off in three? Think before you leap into more debt.